Monday, September 30, 2013

Mr. Muffin Head says SMILE, Monday September 30, 2013

Mr. Muffin Head says: Go forth and smile.

I arrived at the shop yesterday afternoon only to find our contingency of feral

shop cats doing the begging thing. Napoleon's mother was doing her cute run up

the palm trees and bounce down pole dance and Howler, his brother, was

singing. I might point out his old brother and we are only certain about his

mother being in common. My idea was to get in, feed them a can and settle

down to work.
There was no can! Disaster! So I unloaded the van and made my way to BJ's for a case of cat food and maybe something to drink and snack. I had not had lunch. Remind me never to go into BJ's when the parking lot is full or on Sunday. It was wall to wall Sunday shoppers who have no idea of the simple rules those of us who shop during the week have created to make getting through the store without killing each other possible. The number one rule is not to shop and text as you get run over with a shopping cart. It is also a good idea to look where you are stepping particularly when going backwards as you may land in someone's cart. They do not know this.
I managed to get my stuff and get to the checkout with only two injuries, neither of which were life threatening as the people were still doing the same things that brought their soft parts into contact with my cart in the first place. Then I hit a wall. I thought I was smart as the clerk had just turned off her light having the problem with the customer fixed, but one should never underestimate self centered stupid people because it took less than a minute for the light to be blinking again because Miss I am the Center of Universe was trying another scam. Everyone behind me deserted the line like rats on a sinking ship. The person in front of me was trapped or would have to unload all her items from the conveyor belt. Odds were the problem would be fixed by then. Never under estimate how much time someone in the wrong will argue they are right when a couple of pennies are at stake. You will lose. I decided to stay and keep the trapped person company and any way, I would offer a few nice words to the clerk. Finally management solved the problem and then Miss. Center of Universe with a huge flat bed decides to rearrange her wallet while completely blocking the aisle and preventing the next person from being processed. That was when the clerk almost lost it but managed to grit her teeth and nicely ask her to move her cart. Oh, the shocked look upon her face and she even looked at the two of us as if to say, am I really blocking you. The lady in front of me shot her daggers and a few nukes. I looked at her, tilted my head and smiled sweetly while gesturing...move on, your time is up. Go away now. You really aren't worth frowning at, so just disappear. She scuttled off like her tail feathers were burned. You see, a smile really does work better than a frown and it takes less muscles. We all know as a Highland Scott, I am into the conservation of energy though most say we are just lazy.
The clerk apologized to me, not the nice lady in front of me. Once again we witness the power of smile, my Smile Warriors. I naturally said there was no problem, I had time. I didn't add the cats were probably going to eat my ankles when I got to the shop as hysteria was rising there by the minute. I mean that 20 pound Howler was surely going to starve in the next five minutes.
By the time I made the long walk to the end of parking lot simply because I believe there is no reason to pay a gym to use their treadmill when I can just park at the end of the parking lot and walk for free, I really didn't feel like loading the van. I managed 20 pounds of dry cat food and the case of cans felt like 50 pounds when I came to the box of muffins I bought as a treat for George and maybe a couple for me. That was when I glanced in for the first time and saw Mr. Muffin Head and started laughing. I giggled inappropriately all the way to the shop, fed the cats and took a picture of him. He is now our mascot for the Smile Warriors.
Things at the shop are moving at a surprising clip. Everything always seems to be in the way of something else stopping us from doing what needs to be done. I bet you know the feeling. After a lot of smudging and some magickal work, either a lot of stuff has disappeared or it never was there in the first place. I know you are saying, “What?”
One of the stock and standard curses to be bought is a blocks path spell. I learned a long time ago from another author who had been the focus of one that they are a nasty piece of work and the people who do them have the ethics of a politician needing a campaign donation for his booze budget. When they rebound on the person who bought them, and make no mistake about that – it will happen, their life if going in a really dirty crapper and it won't just be circling it. Think of their rebound effect as a full port-o-potty tilting. The lady who paid to have it put on him was pretty stupid. She wanted him to stay in the country and marry her. You never know when casting one of these spells how it will manifest the result. He got sick, so sick he was dying and then in a panic she took him to the person who she paid to put the spell on him to cure him. That is how he learned the whole sordid story, paid the guy to remove the curse and it rebounded on the gal, killing her slowly over a period of 3 months. Not only was she out of money, but no one could remove the spell because it was, well, the karmic law of 3, 7, 10 or whatever number you believe in and not really a curse or spell. It was just energy returning, magnified, to the source and trust me, the source is NEVER the person doing the casting. The first thing they learned was to attach it to the person paying.
I had the results of this thing demonstrated this morning. I accidentally used all my expensive eye medicine when my fingers twitched and too many drops hit my face, not even my eye. This morning my eyes were hurting so bad, I had to dig out the supply I squirreled away when I had insurance. Did I mention this stuff is uber expensive? I had to move a huge stack of stuff to get at the storage box which I slowly did, got my medicine out and began to put everything back where it was. That brought a pause because the pile was half as high. I am looking everywhere for the missing stuff and there is nothing to be found. I do a mental checklist of what I took off and what I put back and they match.
Okay, time for the Twilight Zone theme when I remembered yesterday George put the big AC in the shop window. I would have sworn there was no way he could get to that window without throwing out a huge amount of stuff. Not only did he get back there but he created a good sized path that remains and he didn't throw stuff out. The stuff is an illusion to prevent us from fixing things. Now the illusion fades every time something is moved and its size reduced to actual. All we have to do is move things and space happens, space that is really there all along. I can't help but smile when I wonder what is happening to the person who bought this spell/curse. Are they laying under a house of junk somewhere with only their feet sticking out like the witch in the Wizard of Oz? Is every object in their world expanding to mega proportions? Are they gaining an enormous amount of weight, because I have lost a lot of weight. I mean if it wasn't pitiful, it would be funny. And as they say, Karma's a bitch and so is a rebounded spell/curse. I think they are her puppies.
Thus, things are going really well for this Smile Warrior. I am picking up my studies I abandoned because I couldn't think. I am writing, as you see, after not being able to manage the time, having the word processor blow up and various sundries. The shop is going to be open by Halloween with many, many changes because I am not only thinking out of the box, I burned the box. That box is not getting me again. Suddenly, the world makes a lot more sense because now I see it has shifted into a zone where few have ever been.
I'll give you a teaser as it will become either a book or a series of lectures I get paid for....Magick is about 2.5% of the energy in the Universe. That doesn't sound like much until you realize than everything in the Universe tries to achieve equilibrium or balance. The closer it gets to balance, the easier it is to tip the scales in your favor with magick. Sorry about the math but I never said math wasn't the basis for Magick. Why do you think so few people can do it???

Go forth and smile, because Mr. Muffin Head says so. Hey, I have a picture of him and haven't eaten him yet. He's real.

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