A Lazy October 6, 2013 Sunday: invasion of the raccoon twins.

Welcome to a Lazy Sunday, October 6, 2013.

Go forth Smile Warriors and find someone to smile at. Throw compliments instead of barbs and never, ever let anyone tell you that the work you preform isn't worth everything to everyone.

Have you ever wondered where the idea that one person's work is worth more than another person's work came from? Believe it or not, in more “primitive” societies, all work is valued equally. Tilling the earth is right up there with sewing clothing and making blankets, harvesting and drying food and the shaman who heals you. They are all equal.

So, let me give you a little history lesson. Inequality came when someone decided they should have more because they were descended from God. Yes, it's called divine right. That also gave them the right to rule over the Shaman who became nothing more than the bankers for God and, as usual, his representative on earth. Some people think the Shaman appointed the kings, but kingship has ruled via bloodlines from the beginning.

The next few steps were easy. The king owned the property. The king by divine right of blood ruled and women were instantly devalued. Only a man could rule. The occupation of ruling became more important and of more value than any other and hence even though the king was often an idiot who did nothing but wave, hunt and make laws, he got all the money and power. The more money and power he got, the more he needed people to make sure he got more and kept it. Bureaucracy was born and government. To keep himself in power you now had to deal and blame the people under him. Hatred of government employees was created to deflect the blame for things off of him and the Shaman, neither of which actually had to do anything at all but enjoy the spoils of economic warfare.

Eventually you run out of things to plunder in your own area, so they invented the merchant class. These were men (only men) that were allowed to leave the land of their King and travel to bring new things home. At first it was peaceful until the things they wanted belonged to people who didn't need anything they had for trade.

That was when war was created. Since the kings and shaman and merchants were so small in number, they had to invoke God to get the peasants to go kill their fellow peasants on the next estate and bring home the loot for their God represented by the King and Shaman. The old “gee, go kill him, risk your life and limb and bring me the spoils” did work well and thus evil was invented and by the way, you, the peasant who are miserable, hungry and sick will get your reward in a better Kingdom after you die and get to sit at God's feet and serve him.

Me think they were setting up a place for themselves to be served in a possible after life with that one.

Has it occurred to you that all of this could have been averted if when the first guy said he was descended from God, everyone just smiled and patted him on the back and said, “Sure.” Then went back to what they were doing?

Now you see my strategy. Reverse the whole system. Revalue you and everyone else with a simple smile and a compliment! Take back your world one little smile at a time. You may just find as I did at 5 AM, the cats are really running things anyway.

I was being pummeled and otherwise abused by cat bodies. There were trills and out right screams. Finally I became conscious enough to get the door open and all the little demons out of the room. As I fell onto my bed and laid my aching head on my pillow I found myself eye ball to eye ball with an empty Temptations package. Ningee had been trying to communicate she need her treats, through sign language and since all she was getting were snores and snarls, she enlisted the rest of the Furry Family to get me conscious enough to give the treats. It didn't work out the way she planned.

Oh well little Ningee, if you are going to advance to the level of sign language you might as well know that best laid plans of Druids, cats, mice and men often go astray. Let sleeping humans be.

In the Fall, mother raccoons begin to deposit their now teenage babies into new territories and return to their lairs. It appears I am the recipient of twins. They do not seem to have a clue how to find food as they have dug my garden up for worms and attacked a package of nuts eating a whole bag of peanuts in one sitting, an entire pound. To make matters worse, they follow me. I have thrown everything on my potting bench at them. Squirted them and used foul raccoon language. They simply sit until my tantrum is over and then beg some more. Yes, I have hit them. My aim with a flower pot is pretty darned good. Where ever Mother Raccoon came from, someone fed her and now the twins think the new human is supposed to feed them and the new human has other ideas. I will probably cave at some point as every thing knows I am an old softy but I am not taming them. They are wild and should live their lives free. However, I don't think I can instill a fear of humans in them. Poor babies just aren't that smart. She may have been. I have fruit trees.

As was pointed out last night, if I managed to have my dream of a farm I wouldn't need to get any animals. By the end of the week, they would have found me and moved in with me. At least we don't have bears.