Monday is what you make it.

Good Morning Smile Warriors

Give Negativity the
RASPBERRY!

It's Monday, October 28^th, 2013 and I know you don't think there is anything good about a Monday.

This probably means you hate your job. You hate getting up early to go to work. So, I wonder, have you ever wondered how you got into this. The very fact that you spend the majority of your life hating what you spend the majority of your life doing means the system is seriously wrong and you are equally wrong for putting up with it. You are just making everyone miserable so maybe while we are smiling out there, we should really think about fixing things so we are happy 24/7.

I am not going to say I have had a wonderful weekend. There are people and energies out there that simply hate anyone who raises their vibration past the commonly miserable one. Yes, I am afraid if you haven't encountered it, you will as old Mercury is Retrograde and that my friends makes what goes around, come around and slap you up side the head. I found a good article on Facebook about how people who work to raise their vibration and push out of the mundane box often find themselves attacked for no obvious reason. It then went on to discuss the reasons people would attack you. It boils down to jealousy. They know deep down they want to be happy. They want to feel good and when they see someone who empowers themselves, who is happy and who is living not the high life but the good life, they have to take them down a notch or two and make them as miserable as they are. They refuse to admit they are the ones who have failed themselves. They have to show them the error of living their life the way they want to live it because after all my friends, it is Monday. You should be miserable. No, there is no reason you should be smiling at them and it will totally destroy them and their little black cloud of despair. Our job is to lift them out of the mundane for a moment or two, not join them there. Always remember that.

As to me, well as I said I know some very sorry, pitiful, miserable people who thought for some reason that if they could imitate, steal my life or just stay around me, their lives would be wonderful. For some there was the shock that I actually worked. When you have a store as I used to have, you have to keep regular hours and can't just take off for shopping in the middle of the afternoon. You have to keep your appointments and if you work for someone, you have to show up. Yup, that really shocked a few people. If money grows on trees, I haven't found the right botanical species, yet. For some reason, the power company, phone company and all the rest refuse to take good vibes as payment for their products. There are a lot of people who think I should take good vibes as payment for my services. Well, good vibes are nice but they don't keep a roof over your head or get you dinner.

Others were shocked that I have my bad moods and bad days. Just being around me didn't solve a single one of their problems. They simply didn't understand that life is a DIY. No one can make you happy. We, Smile Warriors, can give you a lift, but you have keep yourself up there. We just provide the example and the incentive by showing what kind is like and how it feels. I just met a whole bunch of Smile Warriors due to efforts of a few of these little black holes of doom and gloom.

Huh, you say. Well, it works like this. Ruin the holidays and my usual work/income for the really fun holiday of the year and I will be reduced to miserable. Now this is how it really worked out for me. I wasn't doing the usual Witches' Ball this year because we are working on remodeling and I am having a lot of dental work done. So the little 'cause problems at home spell' hit our well and we had no water on the night of the Ball which we weren't going to anyway so no one needed a shower. Thus, I just booked a couple of nights at my favorite hotel where I get high speed internet, cool a/c and a wonderful free breakfast George doesn't have to cook and I don't need to wash up after. If the black holes of negativity hadn't worked so hard to ruin things, I would not have slept on a wonderful bed with light fluffy pillows and no cats to share it with, but please don't tell them. I wouldn't have met a bunch of Smile Warriors whose job is to lift your mood and get you out the door with a smile on your face. Yes, hotels pay people to be Smile Warriors but don't get your hopes up because this little group of us isn't paying, yet. Oh, and I am enjoying a really good cup of coffee I didn't have to make, either. I have gathered a bunch of cups and plastic glasses that will become plant pots when I get home. Freebie recycles are always a plus.

Now, everyone stick your tongues out at the negativity and give it a big old raspberry. Oh, and AARP saved me money on the room! I think I'll just chuckle for a while. You can't defeat us. We have learned the secret of happy and everything you do will just transform into happy. We needed to work on the well set up anyway and the weather is perfect. Oh, let me put a cherry on this sundae. While getting the supplies to fix the well, we found a good pump on sale at a great price so now we have an extra if the one at the shop or house kicks the bucket....okay...that was a bit of a pun, but I think I'm allowed.

To recap, you have a choice. You can be a black hole of need and all the crap in the Universe will rain into your hole upon your head or you can be Smile Warrior and instead of crap, good things fall on your head no matter how negative they start out. Yes my friends, life is good. Let's go forth and make it a little better for the rest of the world. As to me, I am smiling and joking with the paid Smile Warriors here at the hotel and getting ready to try a little Facebook and Farmville before going home to work..and I know I'll have a nice clean room, free coffee and some food we scrounged from the breakfast room. No one is really here on Monday, anyway....no point in letting a good chocolate muffin go to waste....I forgot something. On the way back from Lowes, we stopped to get some filtered water and I ran into Western Meats for some of the GREAT orange juice you find in the veggie department. On the way out, I detoured to the bakery and they had their famous pumpkin cupcakes. I really, really want that recipe because it is the best pumpkin cupcake I have tasted and I have tasted a few hundred in my life. They only make them during October and November. I have savored them all night. Another thing that wouldn't have happened without the little black hole of gloom and doom.

Remember when I bought the huge pumpkins at Target for under 4.00. Well, I went with baking one at 250 degrees F for around 20 minutes after I cleaned the biggest seeds I've ever seen in a pumpkin out of them. After it cooled, I just peeled the outside off and threw the contents in a huge bowl. I could hear my aunt telling me I would have to strain all the strings out and it was loaded with strings. Well, George bought me an Oster food processor for my birthday and I figured, get it out and try it out. Let me tell you, that double blade is sharp! Well, I started dropping pumpkin into it on low and next thing I knew I had two bowls of puree and not a string in sight. That is one mean mother of a food processor. I got over a half gallon of pumpkin out of old warty as it was known. I was licking my fingers because that was one good pumpkin. I froze most of it and have enough left for a pie in the fridge. Now I need to bake Smoothie and Sugar Baby and repeat the process. I do believe I have enough pumpkin for the entire season and who knows...they may reduce them after Halloween. I then cleaned up. Cleaning up these heavy duty appliances requires both us as we are getting up there in years and they are darned heavy. I could just hear aunt Rita saying to gently dry and buff that baby. If she had lived long enough to see these appliances do everything she did by hand for hours in just moments, she would have been ecstatic. I bet she is trying to reincarnate right this moment. Wait until she visits and sees the quilting/embroidering/ sewing machine I got cheap! She will be hanging around for a while and watching. It sure beats the old treadle machine I used to sit on the floor and work the treadle on when she got tired.

Now get out there and smile. Look forward and not backwards. Things really weren't that great in the past. I lived there. Today is really much, much better. SMILE!

Smiling on Thursday

Good Morning Smile Warriors

It's been a few days but it's Thursday, October 24^th, 2013

My dentist and hygienist are very gentle women but I still leave the office or when the pain killers wear off, feeling like I have been beat. I am not certain. Maybe when I'm not looking they sock me one. Whatever, the dentist takes everything out of me. So, I have been resting from my cleaning. I don't know if I made the right decision or not but I decided to go with more frequent cleanings verses a really heavy once a year cleaning since my mouth is in a delicate condition. Some time next month, I get another cap put on but it will all be done in one morning. I will leave with the permanent cap instead of multiple visits with temps and the dreaded string separating the gum from the tooth. That hurts like Hades. I will probably be out of it for a week. As you get older, the ugly truth is it takes more and more out of you with every medical procedure. You simply stop bouncing back and go splat.

Many years ago I ascribed to a philosophy that seems to have died. It states simply that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. So many people just do what they need to get by which amounts to a half arsed something as a result which they then need to fix multiple times. I'm lazy. Do it right once. I also subscribe to random acts of beauty. Without art, the world is just plain, boring and without life. Thus, though I make no pretense to be an artist, I randomly decorate anything that doesn't have life. I buy these watering things in a bag. They are beyond plain but they allow the water to seep out too quickly but all the way to the roots of the plant. This is better than watering from the top and watching the water run off your pot with half that expensive potting mix. I will tell you right off that if the potting soil is not moist, the water just seeps out the bottom of the pot through more than one opening but at least the soil doesn't go with it. As I said, they are really plain but no more. You can see from the pictures that a tube of silicone glue and a bag of rock chips from Lowes plus a bunch of glass thingies from the dollar store and viola, plain no more! Even the watering bottle that fits into them, was not immune on my house African violet. I think I'll leave the outside bottles plain. Well, maybe...you know me and glue and shiny stuff. I just can't help myself. It's a sickness.

The point is, you can't make a mistake. The rocks are just randomly glued on based more on the size than color. I grab the glass things out randomly and just glue. I keep doing this to pots and whatnot and the universe becomes a more decorative place. I even think the lizards like it. I know the raccoons often steal my sun/energy catchers. They like bright shiny things, too. Somewhere there is a burrow decorated with bright shiny things and some day some park ranger will find it and go WTF?!? I'll never rat them out. I mean, they do have little hands. They could be making jewelry. You never know.

 So, next time you are sitting in front of the TV, get out the glue and shiny things and make the world a more decorative place. Commit random acts of art. The world will thank you for it. I'll thank you in advance for it.

Monday, Monday, I make a new convert

Monday, Monday, October 14, 2013

I'm teaching them small.....

Yummy, that mouse was good.

I had to make a trip to Target before my 5.00 off 30.00 of food coupon expired. I only had a couple of days left and 5 bucks is 5 bucks. Pumpkins were 4.00 so I brought two home. No, there will be no jack-o-lanterns to come by and see but you might see a slice of pumpkin pie. I can always draw a face on it with whipped cream. Anyway, everyone was in their usual dragging mood. I was smiling as I had a coupon and nothing makes a senior citizen happier than a coupon off food...well, maybe a coupon off drugs but October gets you double credit in the Pharmacy toward your 5% off every day. I think I scored that day tonight.

At the end of my shopping trip after discovering my 5.00 prescription was now 5.44, I was having a little trouble getting the corners of my mouth to go up. Then I passed a little boy being drug by his parental unit and he gave me a huge smile and said, “Have a nice day!” Well, I returned that smile and told him to have a GREAT day! His parental unit was startled anyone actually responded to him and I had recruited another little Smile Warrior. I will win this frown war. I will spread smiles.

By the time we got home, I discovered something I had felt when I made the bread dough. The yeast was dead and though the sourdough did its best. It did not succeed in raising the bread. So George asked if we should put more yeast in and try again. I told him that when your bread dough doesn't rise you have PIZZA! Let the salivating begin as I fix a pizza and a garlic loaf from scratch. George is in the kitchen chanting over the yeast. Sadly, I don't think he is trying to resurrect it. I think he is trying to kill it. That pizza was delicious.

I have one tiny sweet pumpkin. You may not know this, but the little pumpkins are called sugar pumpkins and are best for pie though looking at it, you might need two or three and they cost as much as a big pumpkin. I bought one for the seeds. By spring, I will have many sugar pumpkins. I bought two big ones. One is known as “Old Warty” as it is warty and the other one is smooth. You don't pick them for hollowness as you want the meat. You get the heaviest and most solid ones. Gads, we barely got them into the van they were so heavy. Tomorrow it's scoop and bake time followed by puree and can and freeze some plus pie. Then I learn how to roast pumpkin seeds and plant the rest. If you get a good veggie, you multiply it.

I bought a bunch of the dollar plastic pumpkins to use as pots on the fence. After Halloween, I just turn them around and they become harvest pumpkin pots. In my world, everything needs two uses or more. You have to remember, we really don't have winter in South Florida and this is our prime growing season or it will be when the temperatures get out of the feels like 90 to 100F. Right now even the tomatoes and peppers are refusing to bloom, claiming it is too hot. Guess I have to sow another generation of them as these are dead on their roots.

So my Smile Warriors, Monday may be tough but you will be back in the groove by Tuesday. Get out there and make some converts. Just because the world is collapsing is no reason not to be happy. There is nothing you can do about it, so smile and be happy. Remember, an unhappy day is a day wasted you are never getting back. AND....the best revenge is living well. I have a stomach full of pizza, a garlic loaf in the oven and am looking forward to playing a little Farmville before bed. I'm all smiles and if Trouble's picture didn't make you smile, nothing ever will.

Life's not Fair on Sunday, October 13, 2013

Life is Not Fair!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Life's not fair is wail I hear all the time to justify people being harmed. Everyone totally hates it

when I ask why is life not fair. You are supposed to just accept that statement, suck it up and continue on and I ask why. You aren't supposed to think and above all else: question. Life is not fair because someone made it that way.

You know what, before Elizabeth Warren asked why banks could borrow money at a rate close to eight times less than the old student loans when students getting out of college fuel our economy and banks get bailed out for bad decisions, no one questioned the student loan system. No one bothered to look at most other countries where students not only get a free education but a stipend to live on. Yup, they just said, “Life's not fair.”

I remember when going for my masters, I decided to take on two jobs in the department to make extra money. After all, I was paying for my education by my self and working a full time job plus working for my professor. The administration promptly lowered my salary from my professor so I was now working two jobs at the University for the same amount of money I was making from one the semester before. When I promptly suggested they f' off, the next semester and I didn't need to work any job there, they raised the amount I made working for my professor back to the level of working for two professors the semester before. Life's not fair. The Hell with that, someone in the administration rigged the system so you could only make so much money no matter how hard you worked.

Someone rigged the system so students get screwed on loans. Did you know if your parents have good credit and can afford to pay the bills off in a reasonable amount of time, it may be cheaper to put your college on their credit card than take out a loan. It is almost always cheaper to take out a second mortgage on your house. AND here is the real rigging. You can discharge both those debts with bankruptcy but not a student loan. Life is not fair because someone is making it unfair not because some guy in sky decreed it should be that way, unless he is working for the guys down here rigging the system. Or maybe the guys down here created the guy in sky decreeing life wasn't fair so you wouldn't look at them as the reason.

So my Smile Warriors, your job this week is to make life fairer for someone. If you see someone struggling, help them. A load shared is a load halved. See, you do use math in normal life. It is simple. Last month, George saw a guy with a couple of kids looking at a compressor. He clearly couldn't afford the retail price. George walked out to the van and got his bag of coupons and gave him a 20.00 off the compressor coupon so he could buy it. You don't buy a compressor for fun. You need it to work. Making life more fair for someone is as simple as that. It really is alright to help strangers. It really is alright to talk to strangers.

I know, you just had a scream well up...you can't talk to strangers! Everyone knows that. Really, why? You don't get in the car with them. You don't go home with them. You don't allow them to touch you, but then again you keep your distance from friends, too. Why can't you talk to them? Talk is cheap. Talk brightens everyone's day. A load shared is a load halved. If you were to actually pull out the statistics, more children by a HUGE amount are molested, kidnapped and harmed by family members and their friends than by random strangers. It is actually safer among strangers than with your circle of acquaintances, friends and family members. You don't talk to strangers because that way you stay isolated, afraid to ask for or receive help and guess what, when something happens that could easily have been averted by the help of another human being, life is just not fair.

Are you beginning to see the brainwashing that keeps you hurt, alone and afraid all the time? My Smile Warriors, you are brave, strong and able to go where others are afraid to tread. You are not afraid of your fellow human beings. Good people just need a little encouragement to be better people. Guess what? Bad people just need the right circumstances to be bad and those circumstances are the same ones every predator looks for; prey that is alone, afraid and weakened.

Think about it. There plenty of wildebeest on the African plain. There are also plenty of lions looking for a nice wildebeest dinner. A lion is the perfect predator. So why hasn't the lion eaten all the wildebeests? Because the wildebeests not only stick together and though singularly can't fight a lion, together they can be a formidable enemy and they make friends with the elephant that can fight a lion. No wildebeest has ever been afraid of another wildebeest or afraid to scream for help with the lion. Any wildebeest hurting another wildebeest is quickly facing the whole herd and a few minutes while thinking about his transgression, the lion.

Folks, we are the wildebeests and we have to stop being afraid of each other and the elephants in the room and figure out who the lions are and take measures to be safe, together.

Now there are some things that just aren't fair. I have not managed to plug any cord into an outlet the first time since some idiot decreed there should be polarized plugs. You know, one side of the prongs is bigger than the other side and one side of the outlet is bigger than the other one. I was decrying the fact that with 50/50 odds, once in a while I should win when I realized the odds were a bit more skewed....more like 33% odds of getting it right. Huh? Do the math. If you got the plug lined up, the outlet may be out of line. I swear they make the cords so the way you grab them is naturally twisted in the opposite direction from the outlet. Otherwise, I couldn't always be wrong. When was the last time you managed to stick your USB in right the first time? Next to never? Someone is rigging the game here and I don't know how but I swear I will find out before I die.

 And that my Smile Warriors is my job for the rest of my life.

Even life can disrupt the intrepid blogger.....

Some days life gets in the way.

Friday, Oct. 11, 2013

I had plans for yesterday and then I had to have my cap put on......

Things really were going great. I got up early though I had very little sleep. I got the business and personal banking done. Then we headed for the dentist to replace my cap that popped off. We were 40 minutes early but they managed to take me in early even though I was enjoying a magazine and would have been comfy for an hour or more in their waiting room. Hey, free coffee and tea is a senior's morning dream come true plus free ac and a place to sit. I was happy.

I had forgotten that to glue a cap on your tooth, they have to take a cord and wrap it around the tooth so there is room between the gum and tooth to slip the cap down. That cord is nasty. That cord really, really hurts but my strategy is to first ask to be numbed (mother didn't raise dumb kids) and then remember what it felt like to have a needle of Novocaine stuck in the end of my nose. That last piece makes getting your arm chopped off with no anesthesia seem like a walk in the park. Finally, the cap was on and ready to chew but I was nicely numb making it hard to drink anything so let's just forget chewing.

After making my appointment for the next cap which will be done from start to finish in one morning – I love them – and a cleaning we were off to Harbor Freight. I did notice they make the next appointments and take the deposit while you are numb. Half way through Harbor Freight when the numbness wore off and I would have let George buy anything to get back in the Van. YEEEE....OUCH. I was so thankful I had a prescription for pain medication. A drink of really ice water as most of it was still frozen had me actually thinking I was going to make it to Bedner's and beyond.

About 2 minutes into Bedner's the frozen wore off and I bought a frozen banana. They have the best frozen bananas (I went for chocolate/coconut covered), orange juice and everything else. Who am I kidding? You can't go wrong at Bedner's. I also got some organic teas, key lime juice with no insecticides and bottled (you know a pie is coming up), squash and 3 gorgeous tomatoes plus a loaf of their fresh olive bread. Their walnut raisin bread is to die for, too. The banana numbed my jaw, again.

Half way home, the banana stopped working because I finished it in the parking lot and I went back to frozen water which would work for a few minutes. By the time I got to the neighborhood, I was almost seeing double and the pain was off the scale. Off the scale in my world is probably you passed out 20 minutes ago in your world because I have one heck of a pain tolerance. I zipped into the house and grabbed one of my left over pain pills and hoped for instant effect.

Instant effect doesn't happen with pills but when it did decide to lower the level of pain I was over joyed. I will take what I can get. A few hours later, I discovered I not only had not gotten knocked out probably because my jaw was still hurting, but I was zipping around doing all sorts of work. A couple of hours later I noticed I had surpassed what I normally can do in a week and sat down to ponder this development. There was a ripple in the Force! Was I in an alternative reality? Twilight Zone music please play. Then it hit me. The Pain Pill had knocked out all my other pain leaving just the jaw which I can deal with on a good day.

Good Goddess, this is what my life would be like without inflammation from environmental poisons and Fibromyalgia which may be due to a lifetime of eating poisons from big business. I really, really want to beat the heads of some corporations to death very slowly and painfully for what they have done to you and me, because I do NOT want to spend the rest of my life on drugs that have probably been designed to kill me and you because of what they fed us to make an obscene profit for themselves. I really want to hurt them. I am really angry

Then I see your children struggling down the street. I was a pain management specialist when I could work an 8 hour day. I know pain when I see it. You can't fool me. I know the posture, the breathing and expression on your face as the lines are etched there for your old age. I know these kids do not feel good. I see the background pain on their faces as they pause at the corner more to rest than wait for the red light. Heck, when I was a kid, we would have grabbed the books and ran it. We couldn't wait to get home and drop those books and RUN outside and PLAY. Your kids can't wait to drop in front of the computer. It's not because they are LAZY. Kids want to run, jump and play. If they are sitting there, they don't feel like it.

Get a dose of speed and see if you can sit still and play a video game. Nope...have to move. Kids are like adults on speed. They have to move. Their muscles demand it so they can stretch and grow. It is a biological imperative. Birds even move while in the egg. Babies don't kick in the womb because of any cognitive reasoning. They kick so their arms and legs stretch and grow and develop muscle tone so they will survive after birth. Next time you get a groan from your kid when you want them to do something, instead of screaming at them, sit down and find out if why they don't want to get up is stubbornness or pain. It may take a while, because if they are younger, pain may be the only thing they have ever known.

Are you angry yet?

Wednesday is Senior Pill Day

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

It's Senior Pill Day

Napoleon

Ah my young Smile Warriors, you are asking who Sr. Pill is. If you are not so young you want to know what pharmacy has a discount on pills. If you have joined the 'I don't have insurance or even do but have you seen the real price of drugs' group, you know exactly what I am talking about. It's the day you (a) run out or (b) your hands are steady enough to use the pill cutter. When you grow old and poor, you learn to have the doctor, depending on the size of the pill, order it in a double dose or a quadruple dose, so you use the pill cutter, and ingenious devise with a razor blade in it, to chop your pills into halves or quarters. It is sort like a guillotine for pills. In my case, the pill is too small to quarter and they are making it harder and harder to cut. At first, you could break them in your fingers with no trouble. Then they required the pill cutter. Now they require the pill cutter and a really good eye and alignment. Then again, they went from 60.00 to 250.00 and each step of the way, more difficult to cut. Do you really think that is a coincidence?

The cats are aware I am really angry at them and walking around on satin paws. Trouble, who may have been the instigator but I am certain it was Ningee, is laying on the bed claiming true forgiveness can only be achieved if he is allowed to sleep on the bed with me and live. They started bouncing this morning at about 40 MPH from one side of the room to the other with me in the middle as the main bounce point. We are talking four, ten to twenty pound cats bouncing on your body at high speed. I am black and blue but nothing is broken. When I finally got them to the door as they were not going out willingly, I was ready to wring little furry necks. Not even the Treats would calm them down. I think it actually made them worse. Now we are in forgiveness phase and can we please have our afternoon cocktail of chicken flavored treats, please. Since even my child, Napoleon was involved, I guess I will have to forgive them.

Tomorrow, I have my dental appointment so today I tried a bit of makeup so I wouldn't look quite so washed out. I think it came out well. At least I have eyebrows today. I finally remembered to put the expensive eye drops into my eyes before the makeup and I seem to be tolerating the makeup well. Without the eye drops, I can barely see a couple of hours after I apply anything to my eye area. With age, the dry eye happens and then the red eye. That is followed by the 'oh crap I can't see anything' eye.

I am wondering if anyone besides me has this problem. I have never been able to apply any foundation without it caking. I mean since my first try as a teen, it hits my skin and instantly cakes. Nothing works. I have tried moisturizers and even my coconut oil: instant cake. I have searched the net and apparently it occasionally happens to a couple of people but my condition is constant. Anyone have any ideas?

If you haven't already, smile. It takes less muscles than a frown and when you get to my age, smile lines are much more attractive than frown lines.

Wigs, Teeth, and the Cat in the Sink on Oct. 8, 2013

Tuesday, Oct. 8, 2013

Of Teeth. Wigs and Getting Old

Ninja

Did they all have to happen at once? This I ask of myself. Seems I bit down last night, on the opposite side, and my cap went flying across my mouth. I managed to save it and not swallow it but the best appointment George could get was for Thursday. Meanwhile, I am more in annoyance than pain and my gun is swollen. I don't think I will be talking much until it is replaced. Unfortunately the other side is missing a tooth from my infection experience and it is the major molar used for chewing on that side. Guess we are eating soft food for a few days.

As to wigs, some times I think the cats are out to get me. They dropped a box of wigs on me. I decided since I am preparing for an office “I lost weight” sale of clothes and whatnot’s, I might as well sort the wigs out. I had ordered quite a few to wear out just before good old cancer struck. They came in and I was confined to bed for six months. So by the time I managed to get into them and everything else, it was too late to return them. Then a few years passed, I tripped over my sixties, became frightened of hair dye and lost most of my hair. The result is I do not have anything to fasten the hair pieces to and anyway, I look ridiculous with long flowing red curls at my age and can't really wear anything that exposes the scars on my forehead. So far, two pieces have made their way into the sell bag, both never worn. I hate to sell my Rachael Welsh wig even though it is long as it really still looks good on me if you don't look closely. I know I have another box of hair pieces to sort, but there is just so much depression one can take in a day.

I should be really happy about the clothes. Much to my shock I discovered I wear a 16 now. I discovered this after waiting patiently like a large cat in front of mouse hole for a pair of cargo shorts to go on sale. They are lovely and finally the 18 went on sale...was the only size left...and I snapped it up. It will fit as soon as I extricate the sewing machine from the shop. I am not giving up a pair of shorts in my favorite color I have stalked for six months and finally captured. At least I managed some sweaters that will be too big but comfy to wear cheaply as last year I almost froze to death and a 2x is going to fall off of me. More things into the sale box. Now I am stalking a nightgown and some blankets. Hey, it's the only exercise I get! It got hot right after I bought the sweaters last year, so they got maybe two short wearings at most. Since I bought the sweaters early this year, we may have the no winter at all. That is the way my luck works.

Go forth Smile Warriors and tell some old lady how great she looks. We need the compliments at our age even though we know you are lying. Smiles are golden. Frowns shorten your life. You can't take it with you. I think the Egyptian Pharaohs proved that but the rich keep trying. Since you know the truth, be happy here and now.

Remember the story about the cups and saucers and cats in sinks. Well, I caught one of them in the sink and photographed her. Here is Ninja, Ningee's sister, doing whatever strange things cats do in my kitchen sink when no one is around. I haven't a clue. She looked so guilty when caught that it must be some evil. The night before it was her and Rusty. Now, we often find Trouble in the sink but that is just because he knows he looks good with stainless steel, black and white and wants to preen. Please forgive the counter, it needs, after 50 years, to be replaced....sort of like me.

I am noticing there is always a cat at my side. All night I get up and the cat goes out with me. I come back and a new cat comes in and takes their place. It alternates between Napoleon, Ningee and Purdy von Sweets. At the moment Purdy is taking this shift on my right. I think they are afraid I will die on them or worse, eat all the cat treats or nip.

I have found a new source of energy. Yes, I have something that will wake you up and get you going. It is a little square of raw cacao powder, dates, sunflower seeds, raisins, apricots, sesame seeds, shredded coconut, goji powder and may have rice flour. One square and you are awake. Everything in it is raw and organic and you can get them from www.nuts.com. They are called Organic raw cacao Gogi energy squares. Leave a few bags for me and don't take one at night. You will be bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Monday 10/07/13 Raccoon and Cat Stuff...no humans allowed.

Good Morning Smile Warriors It's Monday, October 7, 2013

Okay, I'm cheating.

It's really 11:46 on Sunday night but I was afraid I wouldn't be up early enough to greet you and I know how bad a Monday can be. I used to work in retail....

So, how about I give you a few smiles from yesterday.

This is the other twin, I think

George and I were preparing for the trek to BJ's for milk. As is our custom borne of lots of broken dishes, we gather all the cups and saucers up and head for the sink. Otherwise, the cats have a tantrum and we sweep up broken glass when we get home. So single file we are limping into the kitchen where I know the small side of the sink is clean and empty. Well, that was the plan. It's seems in our absence, the Furry 7 had taken up residence in the sink. There sat two of them. We did not ask why as obviously they were doing cat stuff. We just put our dishes in the cat dish side of the sink and left. Discretion is the better part of valor.

We returned home from BJ's and George, though he has been warned a hundred times, left the box of groceries outside the gate. Fortunately, I am slower but I was behind him. By the time I got to the gate, one of our twin raccoons had found the box. The only thing that saved us was instead of acting like a wild animal, grabbing things and running, it was picking through the box to see what it wanted. I live in a very strange world.

So go forth my Smile Warriors and spread some cheer on this Monday and be thankful you do not have strange cats and raccoons because I could box them up and ship them to you. Remember, a compliment a day makes someone's day and you are the BEST!

A Lazy October 6, 2013 Sunday: invasion of the raccoon twins.

Welcome to a Lazy Sunday, October 6, 2013.

Go forth Smile Warriors and find someone to smile at. Throw compliments instead of barbs and never, ever let anyone tell you that the work you preform isn't worth everything to everyone.

Have you ever wondered where the idea that one person's work is worth more than another person's work came from? Believe it or not, in more “primitive” societies, all work is valued equally. Tilling the earth is right up there with sewing clothing and making blankets, harvesting and drying food and the shaman who heals you. They are all equal.

So, let me give you a little history lesson. Inequality came when someone decided they should have more because they were descended from God. Yes, it's called divine right. That also gave them the right to rule over the Shaman who became nothing more than the bankers for God and, as usual, his representative on earth. Some people think the Shaman appointed the kings, but kingship has ruled via bloodlines from the beginning.

The next few steps were easy. The king owned the property. The king by divine right of blood ruled and women were instantly devalued. Only a man could rule. The occupation of ruling became more important and of more value than any other and hence even though the king was often an idiot who did nothing but wave, hunt and make laws, he got all the money and power. The more money and power he got, the more he needed people to make sure he got more and kept it. Bureaucracy was born and government. To keep himself in power you now had to deal and blame the people under him. Hatred of government employees was created to deflect the blame for things off of him and the Shaman, neither of which actually had to do anything at all but enjoy the spoils of economic warfare.

Eventually you run out of things to plunder in your own area, so they invented the merchant class. These were men (only men) that were allowed to leave the land of their King and travel to bring new things home. At first it was peaceful until the things they wanted belonged to people who didn't need anything they had for trade.

That was when war was created. Since the kings and shaman and merchants were so small in number, they had to invoke God to get the peasants to go kill their fellow peasants on the next estate and bring home the loot for their God represented by the King and Shaman. The old “gee, go kill him, risk your life and limb and bring me the spoils” did work well and thus evil was invented and by the way, you, the peasant who are miserable, hungry and sick will get your reward in a better Kingdom after you die and get to sit at God's feet and serve him.

Me think they were setting up a place for themselves to be served in a possible after life with that one.

Has it occurred to you that all of this could have been averted if when the first guy said he was descended from God, everyone just smiled and patted him on the back and said, “Sure.” Then went back to what they were doing?

Now you see my strategy. Reverse the whole system. Revalue you and everyone else with a simple smile and a compliment! Take back your world one little smile at a time. You may just find as I did at 5 AM, the cats are really running things anyway.

I was being pummeled and otherwise abused by cat bodies. There were trills and out right screams. Finally I became conscious enough to get the door open and all the little demons out of the room. As I fell onto my bed and laid my aching head on my pillow I found myself eye ball to eye ball with an empty Temptations package. Ningee had been trying to communicate she need her treats, through sign language and since all she was getting were snores and snarls, she enlisted the rest of the Furry Family to get me conscious enough to give the treats. It didn't work out the way she planned.

Oh well little Ningee, if you are going to advance to the level of sign language you might as well know that best laid plans of Druids, cats, mice and men often go astray. Let sleeping humans be.

In the Fall, mother raccoons begin to deposit their now teenage babies into new territories and return to their lairs. It appears I am the recipient of twins. They do not seem to have a clue how to find food as they have dug my garden up for worms and attacked a package of nuts eating a whole bag of peanuts in one sitting, an entire pound. To make matters worse, they follow me. I have thrown everything on my potting bench at them. Squirted them and used foul raccoon language. They simply sit until my tantrum is over and then beg some more. Yes, I have hit them. My aim with a flower pot is pretty darned good. Where ever Mother Raccoon came from, someone fed her and now the twins think the new human is supposed to feed them and the new human has other ideas. I will probably cave at some point as every thing knows I am an old softy but I am not taming them. They are wild and should live their lives free. However, I don't think I can instill a fear of humans in them. Poor babies just aren't that smart. She may have been. I have fruit trees.

As was pointed out last night, if I managed to have my dream of a farm I wouldn't need to get any animals. By the end of the week, they would have found me and moved in with me. At least we don't have bears.

The Heist on Saturday, October 5, 2013

Old Age and Cunning on a Saturday Afternoon

Welcome, Smile Warriors to another Saturday, October 5, 2013 in Cat World.

Ningee

I have totally overslept and Ningee let me. That is a first as Ninsee is an early riser and needs her treats. It is an upside down day, like most, in my household. The dishes aren't washed. The water is barely drunk and I am sloshing back coffee like it is the thing that runs me. Not only that, but there is a strange black cat on my lap and Ningee, who normally occupies that position is having a bath where the computer spends the night and Napoleon has decided to get a head start on his weekend by dispersing cat hair on my clean pillow slips. I shall have to wash them later. My right eye instead of my left is hurting and I am weighing how much my ENT costs and whether he can do anything.

You see, I have no insurance which means I have to pay in cash. It is true I can get 1% back via the credit card I use and in a medical office, that becomes a nice chunk of change quickly.

Oh dear I just noticed Purdy von Sweets, poised on a stack of boxes, nose in the air, scenting the location of my coffee cup. I must get that monkey off her back without giving up my coffee...She has it....here she comes. Ooops, her ass tripped over my foot and landed in the floor. Ah, little one, you may be old but you are nowhere as old as Mommy, nor as cunning.

Anyway, I was admiring my latest accidental fashion find when I noticed the left side of my nose was swollen worse than prizefighter's after a bad bout of mat hitting. The right side was trying to catch up and that means a sinus infection is the cause of my headaches. It is Fall in South Florida and everything is blooming. With all the rain, that includes a very healthy mold population, our main uncash crop.

I tried rather valiantly to get on the government site to register for insurance but I am in Florida and the highly unpopular according to our Tea Pot of a governor site was overwhelmed with uninsured Floridians trying to get insurance. It seems mine was not a unique story among those living in states governed by idiots thinking they are in the dark ages and wanting the rest of us to join them. No Thank You! I lived in the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and what is considered the 2000's. I never thought I would see this year. I didn't think I'd survive this long. I was born in 1951 so I got to see all of the 50's and all of the country as we traveled constantly from state to state and finally out of the country. I do not want to go back to any era as none of them were moral, prosperous for all or had internet. Those typewriters in the museum are what I wrote my papers on and corrected mistakes with that horrible little bottle of white paint. You may go back Mr. and Mrs. Senator but not me. In fact, I'll give you swift kick in your lower posterior to start the process.

It is highly possible my little Ningee awoke this morning to creeping age as it happens fast to cats. They go from sweet kitten to gangly rebellious teen in a the blink of an eye. One morning you find them on the kitchen counter demanding breakfast in the proper bowl and they are adults and fashion conscious. Next thing you know, the are middle age, enjoying however their food arrives as long as it arrives. That is where today's story actually begins.

Prescious has had another stroke, we think. We think because like all cats, he gets ill on Friday right as the Vet closes. He hates the Vet as in his world nothing good has ever come of a carrier and a vehicle and I have to admit, he, from his limited perspective, is right. He was found abandoned trying to climb onto the median strip of a busy highway. He lost his first human and home twice, driven away in a carrier. He had two ear operations, both involving a car and carrier. You wouldn't want to get in a car or carrier either! That evil man called the Vet sticks needles in him every time he sees him. Prescious is not interested in going to that place. I am not interested in taking him as at 30 +, the diagnosis is let us put him out of his misery.

The thing is, he isn't miserable. True, once again, he can't walk but he has two humans changing his bed and washing him up and feeding him. That is where today's story really begins. As soon as I entered the kitchen, being at least 3 hours late, there was a howl of epic proportions. A recording of that howl would fetch a good price for a Halloween tape. Breakfast was late. I couldn't get my fingers around the can of expensive sardines he favors so I had to go for “commercial cat food”. Yes, cats were looking down their noses at that, but they'll take it.

I was looking down my budget. I fished out his quarter of a can as he eats small amounts frequently. Frequently is defined as whenever a human walks into the kitchen. I placed the rest of the can on the mobile counter and covered it with a plastic cat dish. Then I busied myself making coffee as this day, I needed it to get going. Finally I got everything set up to write and faintly remembered the cat food I had forgotten to secure. I really wasn't worried as the Furry 7, who represent youthful exuberance, had already examined the upturned bowl and decided there was no way to lift it. There isn't without a hand with an opposing thumb. So I leisurely, the only way you move at my age unless something bad is chasing you, made my way back to the kitchen.

At my age, you always fear the dreaded senility. I am no exception. The can was not only missing, but one of the old cats was enjoying a bowl full of cat food in the middle of the floor as though I had dished it up for her. Now, George was still asleep. I am the only person here and try as I may I cannot remember dishing her a can of cat food in the nice little plastic bowl, but I must have because the can is missing and there is nary a gram of cat food on the floor. Senility is knocking on my pate until I notice the can peeking out from under the mobile center island. She has managed to knock the can and covering bowl off perfectly so it landed right side up on the floor. Then she fished the can out, hid it and began to enjoy the spoils of her raid as the Furry 7 watched from various locations in awe. They did not even try to take her breakfast from her. Once again old age and cunning beats youthful exuberance.

As you know this shopping witch has an infected ear hole from some slight only my earlobe remembers. I found my little pair of cameos I save for special occasions, but the posts are bent and I always fear losing them if I wear them casually around the house. They are really worth a pretty penny in today's market as they are the real, hand carved, not the laser, thing. We decided to find me a pair of earrings at BJ's with gold posts as for some reason when I am healing, silver irritates the wound. Only gold will do. Meanwhile, the week before, I had bought a fake pearl chain holder for my glasses as if they are not secured around my neck they somehow commit suicide under my feet. Pearl is never my choice and I had bought three other beaded holders. Napoleon has a habit of flossing on them and breaking them. My baby has sharp teeth. My decision was to buy the cheapest pair of post earrings no matter what they were. They were a nice pair of fresh water pearl studs. They go so nicely with the pearl eyeglasses holder I bought last week. You wouldn't know one was fake and the other real unless you can see a difference of about .09% in the refractive difference between plastic and real pearl. I can, but I don't let it bother me. The fact that I can bothers a lot of people.

With the help of the cats, I emerge on Friday, Oct, 4, 2013

Good Morning Smile Warriors and welcome to Friday, Day of  Freya, October 4, 2013.

Are you ready to spread smiles?

Don't know who to credit but this might
speed my morning routine up!

Each of us begins our day in a different way. When I was young I used to awaken without an hour of yawns. I know, I was strange. Most of you awaken and stumble to the coffee pot where your elixir of life awaits you. It is sitting there all hot and ready to wind its way down to your tummy and into your blood stream where with luck, it will manage to awaken you brain enough to allow you to get dressed.

I answer to a high power. In fact, the high power wakes me up. Their names are Napoleon and Ningee.

Napoleon is at a cat age that he likes to sleep in a bit. Then he wants to do the cat stretch and some purring fueled by human strokes and kisses and a snuggle or two.

Have you ever noticed a cat never gets up without stretching first? They also never seem to have the aches and pains we do.

Ningee on the other hand is an addict and her drug of choice is Temptations cat treats. She can manage about 12 hours between doses most days. Her chirping will increase to a crescendo and she begins kneading me in earnest while standing on my side. If I don't manage to start moving there is a real chance of losing a kidney or gall bladder.

By that time, Napoleon has decided he could use another 18 hours and is actively trying to get me to sleep in but Ningee is frantically trying to push me toward where I hide the cat treats. This creates an interesting conundrum in getting out of bed, a real push/pull effect. Eventually I get upright and it takes more time with every year. Fortunately, the cats slow down with age, too.

From there, cats well treated, I have the routine of washing the night's dishes that accumulate while I sleep and then making a pot of coffee. My hands have gotten to where it takes several tries at grinding as I can't hold the button down for the complete time. Then the coffee filter and finally the water. You see, I live in South Florida, home of the enormous roach we call a Palmetto bug. They are capable of flattening themselves almost as thin as a sheet of paper. That means you can't keep them out of the house or the coffee machine. Nothing quite runs your day like setting the coffee pot up at night and when you get home in the evening discovering your flavor from the morning was boiled roach when you go to do dishes.

So I fix everything fresh in the morning under the careful eagle eye direction of Lady Jayne of the Gray. Should there be an errant Palmetto Bug, she has a morning treat. My cats are all ex-feral cats. They are killers. But what she really waits for is me to spill the water I am filling the coffee pot with as that she licks off the counter. She has a water bowl filled with clean filtered water but it seems to taste better after it bounces off the top of the coffee maker and pools on the counter.

Then I return to the bedroom to write this blog with a huge stein of fresh water, no chemicals, nicely iced. You thought I was going to extoll the virtues of coffee. I have learned as you get older, you dehydrate over night really badly. Coffee dehydrates you. One of the first symptoms of dehydration is your mucus membranes dry out and hence you have the dreaded: dry eyes. The only way to combat that is to stay hydrated or buy really expensive eye drops which have who know what in them. I find a huge stein of water just as effective and my brain fog clears faster. Then I will creep into the kitchen and usually find my pot as been raided, not by the cats, but by George.

I often think the first thing they did on his last job was hook him to an IV of coffee. When we first married and he drank cokes, he used to make fun of my coffee addiction in the morning. He has with retirement learned to grind and make an excellent pot of coffee and he can smell one from half a mile away. He will drink anything related to coffee. I with almost 60 years experience, yes my mother gave me coffee at a really early age because back then they knew it was a laxative and I was impossible to wake up, prefer my coffee Cuban. That is more of a roast and blend than a technique though as years go by, it is harder and harder to get a real cup of Cuban coffee properly made. Armando, at the Witches Garden, makes the best if you can wheedle one out of him. They don't sell coffee. By my teens, the morning cup of java was a necessity to getting to school. My boyfriend who used to pick me up quickly learned to check with my mother as to whether I had finished my coffee as I was known to draw blood without it.

By an hour later, coffee is being swilled, the Furry 7 have begun their rotation as Mommy cannot be left alone for some reason known only to cats and I have almost finished my blog of the day and am ready for Email, Facebook and Farmville all with the help of my furry crew as I chow down on my blood pressure pill: the organic banana.

So, although I live an isolated life by choice, you shall go forth and brighten the life of another human being most likely after your coffee as I don't trust you to do it before. I may emerge from my cave later but probably not as I need nothing in the realm of necessities and as you get older, going out and looking around has lost its appeal.

Thursday through the porch window

Ah Smile Warriors, we are on the other side of that hill and sliding toward the weekend on Thursday, October 3^rd, 2013. Everyone raise both arms and go: Wheeeeeeeeeee. It's all down hill from here.

The cats have gotten used to my routine of writing as soon as I get up. Ningee and Napoleon no longer pester me as they know there will be treats when I get to the end and save. Unfortunately their place has been taken by Ice. He is not as aggressive as they are and tends to lay on my knee and watch the letters appear on the screen. I am not fooled. It is just a matter of time before he decides to kill the cursor as that is the way of cats. They are natural born killers.

As such, most people think I am nuts. Humans are naturally selfish creatures that are totally self centered. We only have to look at our ancestors to see those people are wrong. There are very, very few lone mammals. Even the Lion lives in a pride or community. The cheetah is a loner and there aren't many cheetahs. Civilization is not built by a lone person. By simple definition, it takes more than one. That is the actual point at which all the depressive ideas of Ayn Rand and the rest of them fall apart. We are greater as a whole than as an individual. Ghandi would have been a nice guy but if no one had agreed with him and emmulated him, that is all he would have been. The thing is, great leaders never seek followers. People just congregate around them. 'A great leader is one, whom when the task is finished, the people say, “We did this ourselves.”'

This is what happens when you smile and lift someone's mood. They think they did it themselves but the actual exchange of positive energy is what does it and the person is lifted out of their morass. They then, totally by accident, do it another person and soon everyone is happy.

Remember the line, “If mother's not happy, no one is.”? Even the cats are unhappy and moody if I am. Then there is the party and don't invite that person because they are a real “buzz kill”. It used to be someone else would say to invite them and see if we can't get them cheered up. That was often the reason for the party in the first place. A party was when someone knew how to bake a cake from scratch and a real party was if it was chocolate! Where did this pizza thing come from that takes an entire aisle of freezers in the mega grocery? Now it has a new definition as someone who may force you to take responsibility for acts you don't want to own up to like beating some poor homeless person down on their luck.

Everyone tells you to create your own world of abundance and you'll get the best mate, house, car, watch, whatever.... All that doesn't manifest out of thin air. It has to exist my friends. Someone, somewhere has to have that house, car, mate, whatever you want and be willing to part with it. Ooops, that is not what the people selling that dirty little secret want you to know. What if they don't want to give you any part of what they have? The easiest solution is to create a pie in the sky you can never reach, that your basic logic says, “no way” but your heart says maybe. Hope is the real buzz kill, because it knows it doesn't stand a chance, but it keeps you working and working and striving and most importantly, not looking at what is around you, not enjoying your life.

If you read that carefully, you understand what I am trying to do. I am trying to bring you into the here and now, not some rose colored utopia where some invisible idea you have been fed as the ideal is guiding your actions toward a reward in a future in which you don't exist. You are guiding your actions. You are smiling. You are making the world a better place by your actions.

My Grandma hated two times of the day, dawn and dusk, when the veil between worlds is the thinnest. It is also the time most people die. Dawn was the busiest in a world that had begun for her before the Civil War. It was all work and no enjoying the sunrise. It started before light when the rooster signaled the coming sunrise in a barn and kitchen gathering the morning meal and there was no microwave or electric stove just an old worn out coal burner. Coal stoves burn dirty and it was a nasty affair. Dawn was not fun. Then came Dusk and the dying day. Dusk was when you paid for the bargains of the day. Workers were paid by the day in hard money or trade. There was no waiting. Your reward was immediate. Without reliable lighting, everything began to come to a stop and it was time to clean up the day's mess of living.

In her later years, she came to enjoy dusk as she would always take to her bed. Her bed was at the window joining front porch where a huge swing sat. It may not have been that huge but I was small. Everyone would gather on the front porch as the meal was over and through the window, she would engage us without leaving her bed and routine established over a 8 decades. We could all discuss the past, our heritage and things that happened. It was one great gossip fest all the women participated in. The men had their own on the back porch or in the barn or garage. All ages were welcome and you learned not from a history book but from the people who lived it. You were cheered up, taken down a few pegs and taught the reality of the world. You did this and that happened. Ideas were bounced around, picked apart and put back together again. There was a lot of laughter and a few solemn moments as those no longer there were remembered. As I grew old I was more accepted into the men's group than the women's because I was the new breed, the working woman. There was no fanfare, no glass ceiling just a maybe we ought to ask Janice 'cause she does that now. I joined my cousins, all of which were male. I remember the day my cousin said, “You're really beautiful.” I must have looked at him like he had grown another head. He hastily added, “but you're cool.”

Yes, it was another world but one you can learn a lot from because if we didn't work together, everyone in the community failed. We were still mostly farmers, getting our food from relatives in exchange for other goods they needed. My cousin's husband managed a grocery and got a good discount. We got flour and sugar and the nuts and the most desired item of all time: oranges. They got bacon and fresh veggies and canned veggies.

The first time I saw an orange tree laden with ripe oranges just sitting there for the picking, I knew all the religions were wrong because I had found heaven. Then I found kumquats and bananas and began to worship Mother Earth in all her bounty. Yes, I am now a tropical Druid with little connection to apple tree. I don't even remember them or how they hold fruit. Ask me about papayas instead. I have evolved and you will, too. However one thing will always remain the same: the power of a smile.

Go forth and SMILE!

In a World Gone Mean, a Smile is Gold

Good morning Smile Warriors!

It is Wednesday, Oct 2, 2013 and so far the world has not ended. The day is young!

Go forth and SMILE! They are really going to wonder what you have been up to. Remember, it's hump day and the weekend is in sight. Your 5 day work week, for those of you who still have that, was brought to you by a Union and people who died, yes died, to organize so their numbers could defeat a monied stranglehold on their lives.

This morning I was looking for a pair of gold earring as my ear lobs are still sore and gold really is the best metal. I react to steel, even the surgical variety. I could go buy a pair. I have enough left in the budget as Yule is coming up and it is just the two of us but I knew I must have a pair somewhere and I am Scottish or cheap depending on how you view us.

Finally at the bottom of a jewelry box full of good jewelry I might as well sell at my age, I found a pair of REAL cameo 18k gold earrings. Every piece has a memory that is a chunk of your life. That's why it is so hard for those my age to part with the STUFF they have accumulated. This STUFF is like a rosary. Touch a piece of it and a part of your life plays out in your mind.

I had just turned 16 which was a big thing. I could date. I could stay up past Here's Johnny though I never liked the man. But most important of all the concessions to growing up was that I could get my ears pierced. I know today most kids have multiple holes in their bodies and a few tattoos by sixteen but in my world and that age, it was a big thing. You see, only Catholic girls and Latino girls, which were usually one in the same thing, pierced their ears. The rest of us were stuck with painful clip on earring or the way more expensive screw backs. The year was 1967 and the hoop was all the rage. Yes I was the perfect age in the perfect era and a nerd. So after much arguing between the parental units, I was taken to the doctor.

Every woman in that generation will tell you one thing and one story. Never let a doctor pierce your ears and if you do, one hole will always be higher than the other one. I was no exception and I was about to discover I may have inherited my father's perfect ears but I inherited my mother's ear lobs and that was going to bring me a world of hurt. The doctor had insisted on a pair of gold earrings and my father had bought me a small little gold dot, the smaller the better in his world. My ear was numbed with an ice cube which means it wasn't and a he used a long hypodermic needle to do the job. I bled like a stuck pig, the pain was excruciating and I almost passed out. That was only the first ear and I was warned if I passed out, I was only getting one ear done. The doctor didn't want to pierce my ears. I left with pain and both ears pierced and scant instructions.

By day two, the ears were bright red and in a moment of self preservation, I scuttled across the street to the Catholic mom with two little girls with pierced ears. She agreed to take care of my ears as she had been a practical nurse before quitting to take care of her brood. I quickly learned the doctor's instructions were all wrong. We spent almost a week cleaning, disinfecting and putting antibiotic cream on my ears, taking the earrings out and putting them back in with me laying on the couch in case I passed out, when finally she called my mother over and delivered the news. My ear lobs were so thick, the earrings were pinching them and that was causing them to not heal. I needed a pair of earring with longer posts.

Daddy was not happy, but he gathered me up in the old station wagon with the wood panels on the outside. Yes, they used real wood on station wagons and they made SUV's look like tiny boats. Off we went to Mayor's Jewelry Store. Forget the one on TV with the J. If you could afford to walk into Mayor's you were either rich or having a live changing moment. Years later, my engagement ring would come from Mayor's. The man carefully checked every pair of earrings in the store. No one asked if they were real gold or not because Mayor's carried nothing else. Nope, not a smidgen of silver contaminated their store back then. Finally, he found one pair of earrings with longer posts than all the others because they were made in Italy and were genuine cameos. Forget your pearls. Forget your diamonds. I was in love. My father determined we would have to come back in a couple of days when he got paid. Actually, he was estimating what he was going to have to sell to buy these earrings and whatever it was, the next afternoon I had the earrings in a tiny box. The woman put them in my ears after a mind numbing disinfecting of my bright red lobs. A week later, my ears were healed but the earrings remained in my ears for six months before I was allowed to try cheap metal. I never really had another problem until this week.

So here I sit, my ear recovering from an infection wearing the same earrings to keep the raw parts clean and healing. The Universe is circular. All things return to the starting point. Unbidden the thought comes to mind; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. It is a line from Christian funerals but it makes no sense.

It never occurred to me it makes no sense until this moment. Their Bible says Adam was made from mud, not ashes or dust. Shouldn't it be mud to mud? I mean, cremation was against their views so where did the ashes come from and as to dust...well, they probably looked under my bed for that one. But we are made of the ashes of dead stars and dust of the cosmos! To know that, you had to have scientific knowledge that did not include the god of Abraham; a knowledge much, much older than any god....makes you wonder......Did our very old ancestors that came before any of this nonsense was created to enslave us with guilt and punishment sneak a few truths into places no one would bother to look, like a funeral rite?

Well, your job is to insert a smile, a laugh and some good will into the world today. So take heart, you have the easier job. Although it only takes a moment, it will be engraved on someone's heart for years to come as every time they touch that piece of STUFF, they will remember the stranger who made them feel special in a world gone mean.

Strange Turns in the Blink of an Eye

Good Morning Smile Warriors, it's Tuesday, October 1, 2013. Go forth and smile. The world will really wonder what you are up to.

Starting one's day in this house is always an adventure. Today I started by noting the cats had something because a tail was peeking out from under their noses and paws. Hoping I was not about to grab a small poisonous snake or a mouse, I grabbed for the creature and found a small dark lizard in my hand. These are Cuban lizards not the native bright green anoles. I got to the front door and hoped the wood fence protected me from exposure to the neighbors, or the other way around, and managed to drop one confused little reptile out the door. I was just in my nightgown. The lizard looked at me over his shoulder after looking around as if to say, “I was sure I was dinner,” and slowly made his way into the plants. Hopefully he will find some food, water and live a long life doing lizard things.

I was so tired last night I think I fell asleep typing to someone. I don't know who or what, because when my computer closes, it tends to sever the internet connection and the page I am on disappears. Now when you add the cats helping before hand by running across the keyboard, you don't stand a chance at ever returning to where you were. Ningee can actually take you to new web pages and activate functions on the computer I didn't even know existed. I think she understands one click ordering so I am careful to sign out of Amazon lest I find 50 pounds of treats on my front door step. Now that she has had her morning treats, she is lying beside me with her little head on my foot. This is the Ningee pose, neatly curled up and purring and feeling at least ten times heavier than she really is. How do cats do that? You know how much they weigh and yet once on your body, it increases dramatically. Then I must scratch the little Ningee chin. I must say one thing for her scuzzy mother cat, she certainly produced a beautiful litter with silky fur and she was neither. She also produced 6 huge cats and Ningee, which I guess will be with me to end of my life and theirs. We are a family with Napoleon running the show.

What's our happy thought for the day? Well, old Mark Twain said that no man was safe when Congress was in session and Congress just closed the government. Are we safe? Depends on what they think are vital services. One thing is certain, there is nothing we can do about it or they would be sitting there, clean and sober, working for us instead of drawing a paycheck and probably three sheets to the wind by now. It's a nice job if you can convince a lot of idiots to vote for you by throwing enough money around. That is my version of the American Political System.

Oddly, nothing would have changed if we hadn't all been put out of work and discovered we had so much time on our hands since you can submit a thousand job applications with one keystroke and no one even bothers to turn you down. So, you sit and stare at the computer screen hoping for a ding and instead get multiple news channels and at some point when Congress comes up, you say, “They did WHAT??” Voila, you have an involved electorate, researching issues in an information age. That my dear friends was the day Congress realized their cushy job was over after the next election because instead of a faithful tiny electorate servicing their ego needs they had an angry mob with tar and feathers screaming for blood. I believe it takes at least two bottles of whiskey now to reach the same level of delusion as it used to and fasten your seat belts because by election day next year, I dare say the liquor truck will be making wholesale quantity deliveries to Congress' back door, if we haven't barricaded it.

Something even odder has happened my Smile Warriors through the wonders of distraction. It is called games, multinational gaming. I have game buddies all over the world. Last night I saw an article on solar shingles and it was in Hungarian. So, I hit translate and the web happily translated it to English. I went out to the site and discovered it had originally been written in English and translated to Hungarian. Those of you who grew up in the information age have no idea how fantastic that is.

I toured a small tomb in Egypt, watched an amateur Egyptologist measure the sarcophagus and use a level to show how perfect the cuts are all from the comfort of my air conditioned and soft bed. I could then have pulled up more videos that you can shake a stick at on the same tiny little thing. The best you could have hoped for when I was young was a few pictures and a grainy roll of film.

Do you remember film that you loaded into a projector which proceeded to project the clickidy clackity grainy black and white image on a screen that was determined to take you arm off or roll you up in it? And then the film broke or if it stopped running, could actually catch on fire...yes, I was the AV person that ran that monster.

You believed what was on that piece of celluloid. Now, you research it instantly in multiple locations and then say hello to your gaming buddy in that country and ask them if it really looks that way. They may give you a completely different and more accurate version. Next thing you know the country your government is planning on going to war with has YOUR friends in it and you need their help to finish the quest and they aren't agreeing with what is on the news and you are using the Welcome To Facebook abbreviation. As they said back in the 40's, the jig is up and governments fall.

Now, do you want to know what will tumble our and everyone elses' entire belief system and government? It will be the day that the people who are handpicked to give politicians' information about every area of government are replaced by some smart guy and Google. You see, when someone runs for office, they get a “staff” with “experts”. Those so called experts are really Spin Doctors hired by the party or financing person to provide the candidate with information and “facts” that now only reflect the religion and philosophy of the person controlling the purse strings of the campaign. They get the best information, their owners can buy. As a result, the candidate not only has no idea of the real issues or facts or the will of their base. They look out the window at the crowd and the expert tells them to look at all the people supporting them when in reality, those people are ready to burn them at the stake. They have no idea as someone pours them a drink and distracts them with what they need to wear to next lunch meeting and a brief history of the other people at the meeting, most of whom they have never met and are just trying to get the names straight.

It's all distraction and slight of hand. Thus my friends, go forth and smile. It's not on the agenda in the information age where your phone keeps you from noticing someone is about to run you down with a shopping cart. Smile and for that single instance, engage the other person, eyeball to eyeball. Yes, they are people just like you, humans. They laugh, they cry, they bleed and they have feelings and needs, just like you. Nod your head and take a look at the person checking you out in the store. Compliment them on something you can see. Engage, my friends, engage. There are a million individual stories out there just waiting for you and they are all free...no roaming charges, no wireless charges, no ebook required. Spread the smiles! They really are free.

Remember that lizard this morning, fighting for his little life under several cat paws when a huge pink thing covered him, lifted him up and the next thing he knew he was sitting on a leaf in the sunlight....life can take some strange turns in a remarkably short time.