My Smile Warriors

Sunday, September 29, 2013

I have decided my new friends are going to be called Smile Warriors. We shall be succeeding in actually spreading a little joy in world just by smiling at strangers and loved ones...So, are you ready to start your Sunday Smile Campaign on the rest of the world? Of course you are! Take no prisoners. Allow the Smiles to spread and maybe they will evolve to giggles.

I cannot help but wonder how those who fear the number 13 are handling this year. Fear is a tricky thing and it is best not to have any. You see, it is a cancer. It starts out simple and often really life saving like having a fear of snakes in an area with a lot of poisonous snakes. Next thing you know, like my adopted mother, you are almost causing a 6 car pile up as you swerve in a panic because of a piece of hose in the street. A little fear quickly spreads to anything similar and your life is totally based on avoiding the object and anything like it. In case you haven't figured it out.....you life is now totally based on fear rather than enjoying anything. Personally, I would rather have my day revolve around enjoyment. You can do whatever you want. Just remember the more intangible the article of fear (like an idea), the more pervasive it is and the more crippled your mind becomes and the more isolated you have to become. If you can't see it physically, it could be hiding in shirts at Goodwill!

Living the life of an Urban Druid really isn't that much different from a Homesteader I have concluded. Last night I was so exhausted I really didn't care if Farmville crashed and burned so after feeding the Sourdough starter and I went in to brush my teeth. I am out of tooth paste. I pick up the tiny jelly jar and trudge into the kitchen to make more. The tricky part, since I was so tired and my vision was blurred at that point, was getting the coconut oil right so I had a paste rather than a slurry. It took 3 tries but my toothpaste was made and my bed was getting closer to reality. Note to self: don't run out of soap. That takes hours to make.

This morning the Furry Mafia that totally runs my life decided I could actually sleep in to 10 AM. Oh joy, a reprieve has been granted or I succeeded in getting them all out of the bedroom last night. Take a guess which one! It really was the latter, because they were throwing their furry little bodies into the door at that point. Fortunately, being almost deaf, it wasn't bothering me. Last night George asked just how many huge black cats we had. I assured him it was not 13 although it often seems like we have a house full, the ninjas are just really fast and can dematerialize and then appear between your ankles at the same time. They also occupy every surface you need to put something heavy on at a moment's notice. They make the Occupy Movement look like rank amateurs.

For those who didn't get my status update, we have, as in the bathroom is falling apart, to remodel the bathroom. For months I have been fondling and whispering endearments to a beautiful beige pedestal sink at Lowes but alas, it was way out of my budget. It is huge and has an oval front so no more sharp corners to whack my poor old arms against but again, waaaaay out of budget. Personally, I think they are all overpriced. Well, last night on a spurious trip to Lowes for nothing in particular, there in the aisle, all alone, was the sink laying on cart. I mean the very sink, the store sample I have loved for months, and it was reduced to $25.00. Yes, you read that right. The sink, pedestal (they actually sell it separately - I guess some people levitate theirs...) and the faucet was $25.00. The medicine cabinets were under 4.00, a Moen (you budget just groaned) in bronze shower valve set was 15.00..it costs more than the sink retail...and the hotel towel rack I had priced at Target (theirs is cheap metal)...all of this came at a savings of $288.00. Even with a few new pieces of hardware we needed the bill was under $70.00! Let's see you put a new sink in for that price with extra shower controls and towel racks! However it just goes to show that if you caress and whisper sweet nothings to a sink, eventually it will lay down on a cart and come home with you cheaply.

In reality, I have the shopping knack. It is the Urban Druid's version of hunting. I have transformed my natural ability to find food and shelter into shopping. My dear friend Martha used to marvel at my ability when I worked full time. The culmination and a free dinner for me, was the week I picked out a beautiful blouse at the Goodwill store for pennies. The problem was the color. They were years out of date and impossible to match. I decided it would make a great outfit and Martha on Tuesday bet I could not create an outfit without going all black or white (brown wouldn't even work) by the end of the month. We were headed to the Orlando New Age Trade Show for the weekend. In one HSN outlet I found perfectly matching slacks the first night in Orlando for a dollar. They would match anything but the blouse in my hotel room. The next night, I had a jacket from the North Orlando outlet for another 3.00. By Tuesday on the way home, on the other side of Florida in another outlet I had the perfect shoes to match for 10.00 and a lovely dinner at a local barbeque place. I competed my challenge in less than a week. They made the best roasted veggies in the Universe. I am not sure what the barbeque tasted like. Martha declared me the winner of the hunting contest. On the way home about 200 yards apart sitting on fences I saw a huge Hawk, an Owl and an Eagle. I know they were real because the Eagle took off and flew across the road in front of me. Now that, not a raccoon marauding in your garbage, is a real sign.

 Just imagine if I turned my skills to evil.....